Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
