Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
