You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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