Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
