brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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