What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
