its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
