mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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