I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
