Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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