can we get nightvision for the apartment?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
