he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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