It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
