I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
