My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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