Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
