three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
