im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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