i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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