don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
