I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
