I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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