There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
