you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im holly from the hills drunk
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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