Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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