i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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