Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
