my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
