There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
