well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
