I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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