I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
