Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
