Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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