Do you still have your period?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
