I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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