Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
