I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
