Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
