hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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