Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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