it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
