it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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