my vag is so smooth its legendary
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
