Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
