You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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