I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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