I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
