In the future we'll all be gay
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
