So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
