if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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