Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
